Why bother?

There's no reason to go to parties and be social if you don't want to. I get uncomfortable with large groups, more so if I don't know everyone. The first few firm events I had to go to with husband were awful for me, so I just drank more. (And I know I just said you don't have to go to things if you don't want to, but there's like career development reasons in this case.) I still look forward to weekends when he'll be out of town and I can watch trash tv, and order trash food, and generally be a trash person.

We've got friends we hook up with from time to time. I've got ways to be social if I feel like I need it, but there's nothing wrong with preferring to stay in and play video games and introvert.

How does that play out with dating? Yeah, you probably won't meet anyone by staying home, but the people you meet by going out to social scenes you don't like, aren't going to be a good fit for you, because that is their scene. You just have to look in places where you'll find someone who likes doing the things you like, including staying in and having low key couch time.

I'm going to keep trying until I succeed.

I know this ambition to most might seem mundane, but for me, this is my personal Mount Olympus.
I've put this much into the ambition. Might as well keep going. Succeed or die trying.

I'll be honest. It hasn't all been failure. Maybe 99% failure.
I have managed to spark up conversations and arranged a handful of dates over the past 6 years.

Sure I have jokingly remarked "I am to women what bees are to Nicolas Cage" but that really isn't the case. I'm obviously not lady repellent. I haven't had any difficulty making female friends after all.
In this game, failure outnumbers success. If you've ever (for example) tried applying for jobs, quite often it's apply for 1000 jobs before you're accepted by one. That means you're rejected 1000 times.

Failure will always outnumber success. That is why success stories are so notable.
Richard Branson would not be all the remarkable if everyone succeeded in business.

With me, I have to be trying harder than most to succeed. I have the odds stacked against me.
What that means is that I have to really give it my all and keep messaging loads of women across multiple dating sites. It means I must be going to plenty of singles nights and trying my luck. What it doesn't mean is that I just stop living my life. I still have my hobbies and other interests. My goodness, if the dating game was the only thing I had going for me, it would ruin me.

Besides, as you guys have said, I do need to work on myself.
Find new hobbies. Work on my physique. Gain some self esteem.

I'm not going to be binary about this one. I can chase my ambition and still live a life. I was never a fan of "either this or that", kind of thinking.

Yeah.

Don't do it if it's illegal in your country.

At all.

And not because it's illegal.

Well yes. Because it's illegal... but more because of how that stuff gets around because of that.

And that makes him 46.

In your mind.

But I don't remember intimating that I have any angsty sexual frustration around here.

This.

I myself wouldn't put sex on a pedestal of goals you feel obligated to reach in life as quickly as possible, since I find there are more important matters and experiences to accomplish, and not constantly worrying when you get to put your dick into someone.

And hey Kaiser, if your ancestors were able to get laid, why wouldn't you? 

Unless he's in a country where porn is illegal. I don't see the point of creating evidence of one illegal activity to cover up another illegal activity, and in a country where both are illegal, there aren't that many degrees of severity separating the two.

> A guy gets called a creep often at work/in social situations for being honest or "non-chivalrous"

> Same guy gets treated with respect/indifference for the SAME behavior in the online dating world