crusty
Ghosts 
I have made 738 posts
Right now I'm Offline
I joined August 2015
I've received 1,282 likes
My gender is Male
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Post by crusty on Mar 12, 2016 0:07:17 GMT -6
The one thing that sticks out to me is that you're wayyyyy overthinking it, Abraham. And you're looking at it all wrong.
On confidence, fake it until you make it. The only way to start being confident is to pretend being confident, you'll get in situations where your fake confidence actually pays off, helping to develop genuine confidence. Confidence in social situations is all about building self assurance through successful experiences over time and taking it further. Start with small things ("I'm going to make small talk with some students at school, or a coworker who I want to get to know better"). Once you get more comfortable and get to know people better, you can then start to talk about other things. And with common interests/opinions, comes the opportunity to make friends and acquaintances.
Forget women. Forget the notion that you need to be with a woman to be happy. It's obviously not true. Look to yourself and focus on self improvement with an eye on making new friends or meeting new people. Develop a hobby that's social in nature, join a community group dealing with something you're passionate about. Make strides in your personal life, whether that means getting in shape, advancing your career or setting goals for yourself. Travel a bit, explore new places in your local area. Do anything but chase after women. Unless your only goal is to get your dick wet (and you are a sincere guy, so it's clearly not about sex for you), then there isn't much point in setting aside time to chase after women. If the opportunity presents itself, sure, but life is too short to chase after the fairer sex when you've got your own life to worry about. Become an upstanding, well rounded person. That will give you the life experience, confidence and opportunity to actually meet a woman that you'd want to go out with. Far too many people put women on a pedestal as if they are some sort of pure dispenser of joy and happiness, and that having a girlfriend/spouse is inherently better than being alone. However, neither is true. It depends on the woman you're with, because surprise, women are people. Ordinary people, a different set of genitals and different biology sure, but not worlds apart as some men (especially those with little experience with the opposite sex) like to think.
Restricting yourself to online dating sites (where 90% of people are looking for a quick lay or are crazy lonely people) isn't going to be your panacea. Looking for a "girlfriend" is folly, you need to be looking for a person whom you genuinely enjoy spending time with. And the only way to do that, is to do stuff you enjoy (and can work towards) while expanding your social circles and leaving your comfort zone once in a while.
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