Make a scary face, stick out your hand, and say something in a made up language that could be mistaken for Satanic, like Sith or something.

I did notice that it was a couple and the man doing all the talking while the partner was like several feet behind him acting like she didn't matter.. I was thinking should I make a smart ass comment about equal rights? So many thoughts I could have said.

But getting rid of them is the goal not having an argument. I just said that I was sorry and not interested.

I am not at all surprised though that in 2015 we still have some religions that hold the patriarchy view..

Put up a "no soliciting" sign.

I answer the door naked and a beer in hand. Very effective against Mormons.

I answer the door with a .45 either on my hip, or in my hand. That tends to keep unwanted conversations brief. You guys should try it sometime!


I'm never rude to the Jehovas, simply because they are never rude to me. They usually ask me a question or two, and hand me a pamphlet or something.

"I'll look into it." I say with a smile, while skimming over their hilarious pamphlet that features Jesus as portrayed by Jim from the Office.




And then after a polite goodbye, they're off to the next house. They really are pleasant folk, at least in my experience.

My neighborhood has too high of a crime rate for them to wander around in it.

However there was this one time a few years back, there was this lady traveling around my city asking people if they were Christians and handing out these pamphlets.

She approached a group of my friends and while she was walking away, I just reached them. There upon they dare me to something.

Follows lady to outside.

She's half way to the parking lot.

I fell on my knees, thrusted my hands up to the sky and shouted, "I need Jesus, save my soul!"

She calmly walks over to me, hands me a booklet, pats me on the head and walks away.

We have a sign saying "no sellers, charity collectors, or religious callers" but it does jack shit since no one ever looks at the sign. It's right next to the door as well so hardly not out of sight. 

Next time I should ask them what their god can do that the all seeing holy cookie can't do when I pray to the holy cookie..

Or ask them who their holy text says should be the head of the house? That usually incites fun "discussions"

I invited a Jehovah's Witness couple in once. Offered them some tea. Allowed them to tell me their story (luckily they kept it short-ish), after which they asked me if I had questions. That's when I started grinning, and started asking them difficult questions that eventually led them to poke holes into their own arguments. Like literally, they destroyed their own religion in their attempt to answer my questions. It was hilarious. Before I knew it, they stood up, gave me a pamphlet and left. They didn't even finish their tea. :')

I just tell them I am a Satanist. That makes them want to leave.