I was driving a tow truck. Tow trucks have big ass mirrors that stick out quite a bit. I was going down one of the main streets, and the far right lane is a little narrow, especially when large vehicles are parked on the side. Well, someone decided to park their big ass pedo van on the street that afternoon. Those old pedo vans have mirrors that stick way out, but can be folded in.

Shoulda folded your mirrors in, asshole!

I don't consider it a hit and run, (Cops might) because I would have taken out another motorist who was actually driving alongside me if I tried to avoid it. if your vehicle is taking up part of a lane, while parked, at least fold in your goddamn mirrors.

I just bought this t-shirt.

Yesterday I was driving back home and noticed this woman walking on the side of the road with her two little dogs. Both dogs were basically "kick me"-sized. One gets away from her and she chases it, then trips. I was getting close and pulled aside as I would do normally, then slowed to a near-stop when I was close and she was on the ground. When I saw her go down and wince in pain I was going to get out, ask if she was okay, help her out... you know, all the things one would expect of a normal human-being.

Once she got up and had gotten a hold of her dog, though, I just kind of said "hell with it" and drove off.

Can one confess if they are incapable of shame?

Sorry OWA, but that confession sucks. I want to hear about more things like stealing shit, vandalism, hit and runs, attempted unauthorized butthole entries...

You should go take a dump on your neighbor's front porch, or car, or something. Hell, might as well go for the gold and take a dump directly on your neighbor!

I expect a full report by the weekend. Good luck!

I once ate a corn on the cob without butter.

You just slather that disfuckingusting Vegemite all over your corn, bread and babies when you get ready to have dinner.