Self determination. Time discipline plays a big part on how successful.

Relevant:

My little sister has been in an abusive relationship with this scum-bag from Texas for almost 5 years. She called me tonight as I was getting off work, crying saying he beat the hell out of her. Again.

I went over there, despite my better judgement, to console her & hopefully convince her to press charges. (she has had the opportunity to do so in the past and never has gone through with it)
She was swollen up, one black eye, bruises on her leg & chest and ribs.

Tragically I was UNABLE to convince her to press charges. She said she "still loves him" & "he doesn't deserve to be in jail"

I am at a loss. Anybody have any perspective as to why people allow this type of thing to persist?!?

I've been there Budgee.. my marriage which lasted 14 years.. I thought I loved him too but it wasn't just that, it was also the fact that I didn't want him to lose his job by going to jail etc. You know, people from outside often said to me "if it were me, I'd just pack a bag and leave, maybe punch him back first" but it's NOT that easy. My family didn't believe me, he was the perfect angel in front of everyone, only the cops saw the bruises, well also because I hid most of the stuff from them I guess but still. I had no where to go. If I had pressed charges, he would come back to only make everything worse than last time. Your sister is probably really afraid, think about that, I know I was..

It's just hell, it's not that easy to leave like everyone else thinks it is. I was scared to death, cause he kept telling me that he would rather kill me than let anyone else have me and he would kill me if he ever found out I moved on with someone else. It's fear.

Btw, don't know if you have or not already, but make sure to offer her to perhaps stay with you so she has a place to go, a place to stay, that was my main issue back then, I had no where else to go.

That's what you got from my reply? I certainly didn't enjoy it, so no. But this is not the thread for that. If you wish to get my point of view how to handle it, since I've been through it,then you're welcome to pm me.

Budgee.. I understand you're hurting and that's why I suggested that we took it to the pm's.. there is no need to insult me here okay? I'm only trying to help by sharing some of my experiences. Nothing else, there was nothing malicious behind it.

Maybe your sister would be willing to see a therapist?

Sorry to hear that, Budgee. Only ways out of this situation seem to be either intervening directly, or cutting all ties so at least you yourself don't have to deal with this crap anymore.

You have to do something about that shit, dude. Don't let some little shit hurt your family, even if that means taking a bat to his ass or calling the police yourself. If I ever find out my sister's husband treats her that way, I'll likely end up in prison, but that's okay by me. I couldn't stand idly by while that happened. Words are well and good, but there's a point where a man has to take action despite the risk of consequence.

Yeah, something like that I guess.