20$ Steaks are too expensive for me, and I don't really want to eat eggs.

I guess after destroying fastfood restaurants like McDonalds I would go for 'Bread and Juice' formula... pretty great meals! Try it for yourself!







Coca works well too.

Please, I just want a world where I can huff gasoline without fear of cancer.

I didn't know the hidden minigame in GTA San Andreas could do that.

Acually that's about how it works.  Your esophagus is line with epithelial mucosa, so it's kind of like a continuation of your skin (more like what lines the inside of your cheek in your mouth).  Any time your cells suffer damage (from burns, cuts, daily wear and tear, etc.) there's a risk of mutation as they repair themselves.  And there's a risk that any mutation that does occur could be a cancerous one.  Radiation damage, which may encourage mutation, is more likely from a sunburn than from a scald, but a burn is a burn and if you keep damaging your cells over time those fractional risks add up.  Boom.  Cancer.  But most of us don't drink coffee/tea/hot chocolate at temperatures that will burn your esophagus.  Because, well, that would hurt.  And it's the temperature that matters, not the beverage itself, I guess it's just that coffee is the most popular hot beverage. 
Wait, I mean, I'm clearly immune to all cancers because I only drink tea!  I'm immortal!

Well here's the thing, over those past 100s of years, something else was likely to get you before the cancer.  Like, famine, bubonic plague, violence from civil unrest, or a bear.  As medicine and nutrition have improved we live long enough now that we have the opportunity to develop cancer (we've even been known to help it along with cigarettes).  The incidence of stomach cancer, however, has decreased, since the advent of refrigeration.  If you live long enough, you will get cancer.  The cancer may not kill you, and something else could kill you first, but that's just sort of a fact right now.  It can always change.  Go science!