Start off with a lot of praise and bragging. Finish it off with "But enough about myself", and then go on to the actual speech.

It should have been me... IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME.





You snobbish!

You may as well demand this in the middle of the ceremony:

Seriously don't. I have been confused with the meaning of rings girl wear in RL. To sum it up, I couldn't understand if they have been available or not... and opportunities turned into ashes. The reverse actually happened too. One woman actually needed to say that she has a 4 years old girl around me. It was disastrous, but not much.

The girl I'm bringing to the wedding with me.

If you know of any funny stories involving your sister and her fiance that'd be something to include in the speech as punchline of sorts. Maybe tell the story and then say something like "but really, they've got it all figured out!" then pause and beam as bright a smile as you can before continuing your speech. You might be best off going for something short and sweet because you haven't done this before and you won't risk boring people. There are few things as bad as having to endure a lengthy speech. You should definitely try to include some element of humor in your speech.

Or the The Man with the Muck Rake.

"I am a man of few words." -> stage exit left.

I really don't know any embarrassing stories about them... Hell I don't even know any of my sister, at least none that would be in good taste at a family event. I was the one who got in embarrassing situations >.>

I could just go the most cliche route "Websters dictionary defines love/marriage as..." or something insanely lame like that but I feel too awkward if it feels too cliche. I like to have a sort of dry humor to it where people aren't entirely sure if I'm being serious or not. I do agree it should be kept short and sweet though. It'd be kind of funny to try making it as long as humanly possible just to see how long before someone forces me to stop XD

"I've prepared a speech" *pulls out 30 pages of paper as everyone silently groans*

The only kind of rings I wear are the dark ones underneath my eyes.

You know

I think you might actually be right. I could possibly use that.

Kind of like "My sister was recently given a ring. The only kind of rings I wear..."