Christian Bale, maybe?

Nah. That role's best played by Sacha Baron Cohen.

So...who would I be?

Okay, here's mine:

Terminator-era Arnold Schwarzennegar as Giant Ambush Beetle
Alien-era Sigourney Weaver as Johnnie Walker
Michelle Rodriguez as DeliriousKill (OWA)
Mad Max-era Mel Gibson as mybudgee
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas-era Johnny Depp as RakiaTima
Jennifer Lawrence as Sully
Vanilla Ice as E-ro
Pulp Fiction-era John Travolta as KingTony001
Steve Buscemi as InquisitorRecon
The Shining-era Jack Nicholson as Crusty
and last, but most certainly not least, Shirley Temple as Liamv2

These are not based on physical appearance, except for the last one. I really wanted to cast Tom Hardy, but I couldn't think of a good match.